saturday sensations

This morning I woke up to find the weather gray and dreary – a bit of a disappointment after we had a stretch of sunny days sprinkled with a pinch of spring pollen in the air.  It's not enough to make you sneeze, but you know it's there and that's ok.  I walked through Middletown to Wells Fargo to deposit my latest paycheck, which is exciting for me – one step closer to living on my own and having the freedom to explore – while listening to A Tribe Called Quest.  Then, I proceeded to meet Professor Miller for coffee at Klekolo cafe on Court St.  We talked about everything, as we always do.  It is nice to have a mentor like her.

I finished my thesis on Tuesday.  It was an exciting experience to turn in the document and then party on the steps of Olin with all of the other thesis writers.  However, it has been hard for me to let the document go.  I find things that I still want to get to or fix.  There are a few typos, but I suppose that is to be expected in a 100+ page document.  I learned a tremendous amount about writing, which was my goal for college – to be a capable writer when I graduate.  So, it feels pretty great to be there now.  It definitely was a struggle, and it will continue to be, but at least I have developed a decent command over language.

Now that I cannot blame my thesis for my lack of interest to socialize or get the other things that I am involved with done, I have been returning to these aspects of college that I put on hold in order to preserve my self-interests to write a good thesis.  These include my poetry class and Gamelan.  This Sunday is my friend's senior recital and I am playing the Gamelan for it.  I do really like it – it's like the therapy of playing music without the same challenges I encountered with oboe, like the music and the physical strain it had on my lungs, but the mental focus that centers me.

I have been listening to a lot more music and watching music videos now that I have a little more space to breathe and be a person again.  I have also returned to some fiction books that I have been meaning to read and are on my bookshelf in my room.  Plus, trying to find a job: that's always a fun one.  Lots of rejection right now.  Maybe one day it will turn around and I will find something. For now, it's unclear.